You may shrink away in other situations. You don't even realize sometimes that you do.
Maybe it’s when you’re at work and the loud coworker interrupts you and you patiently wait for them to finish. Your hands pressed tightly against your knees. It’s your boss or another manager that you just have to deal with their quirks silently seething or exasperated but smiling and nodding in agreement. Maybe it's when you are at home and the family dictates your life, your time, your schedule.
And then it's the white knuckled drive to the barn through endless traffic and lights. Suddenly you’re there and your insides relax the moment you inhale the aroma of hay, and your horse. But then you remember. You're going to ride today. On a horse that if you told the truth to no one but the wind scares you. As you mount up your palms are sweaty and your knees are a little wobbly. But still you ride. You sit on top of this noble horse 5 feet or so in the air and you walk off, determined to have these precious moments.
If you could transform yourself to your work, and lean over to your colleague from horseback and politely but firmly ask them to leave so you can prepare for the presentation you would. A deep breath and then you would let the quirky boss know that although the idea has merit a full evaluation is still needed or maybe you would just reschedule that meeting altogether. The family would be asked to take ownership for the little things you do all the time that they seem to never see. Put the clothes in the basket not next to it. Dinner is always good for one reason or another.
You would be fearless! You can speak your intimate emotions with clarity and authority! Why? Because you can ride a horse through the fear. Innate and unexplainable fear that courses through your veins but yet you mount up anyway. You sacrifice anyway. You find money in the budget somehow. You revel in these moments of power and nobility so sweet, scary and scintillating but at the same time so incredibly truly you. At THAT moment, you the rider are revealed.